Wednesday 12 February 2020

Your Mid-Week Update for 02/12/20


Sometimes, your brain is too overwhelmed with thoughts of her husband adopting a psychotic murderer and convincing you to help fake her death so she can replace your deceased other adopted daughter that you just need a vacation.

So I spent the weekend in the mountains. Alone. Pretending I was someone else. Living out the fantasy of a enclosed-space murder mystery. Except this time, I wasn’t the murderer.

It was the strangest feeling when I was awoken with the sounds of screaming from down the hall. All the guests of the small, remote lodge rushed to see what was wrong. We found her husband bludgeoned to death on the bathroom floor.

I had this out of body experience where I wondered if I had murdered him and forgotten. Or perhaps I was sleep killing. It has never happened in my 20+ years of doing this but I’ve learned that there is always a first time for everything.

Because it really was like playing out an episode of Murder She Wrote, the roads were too dangerous for the police to get through for a few hours at least so we were all trapped in the lodge with a killer.

Two killers. But again, unless I had become so talented that even I didn’t know I was the killer, there was someone else.

Of the whole group, there was only one person I wanted to kill. Not the hysterical woman who just wouldn’t stop screaming or weeping, not the wannabe J.B. Fletcher, not the creepy desk clerk who kept staring at the body when he thought no one was watching. It was the Tom Selleck looking man who wouldn’t listen to any of the women. I could have straight up told him that I killed the man and he would have patted me on the head. It was the rough. I am actually amazed that there weren’t two dead bodies by the time the police arrived.

Which they did. Eventually. By the time they did make it up the mountain, the wife had confessed to having an affair and accidentally pushing her husband into the bathtub when he found out. Boring.

Though I guess the wannabe J.B. did a pretty good job because I wasn’t paying attention.

All that excitement and intrigue and trying desperately not to murder Tom Selleck did do the job of distracting me from my home life. And that was what I needed. A weekend away from my own murders.

It wasn’t that I needed to get away from the situation. I understand James’ motives, I am on board with helping Casey. It’s just been a long couple of months, you know? Sometimes, you brain is just too full of things, you need to get away from it all for just a moment. And that’s what this weekend was.

I was able to come back and be completely focused on saving my murdering psychopath of an adopted daughter. I think I’ve actually found a suitable body double for her. Now it’s all a matter of timing.

In the meantime, I managed to get Tom Selleck’s address while the desk clerk was doing something inappropriate around the corpse. Who says you can’t bring your vacation back to work with you?

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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