Halloween was fantastic. It’s the most I’ve enjoyed a holiday in a while. I got to completely lose myself in the (fairly recent) gore-y traditions.
You know how there’s only one real case of poison-laced candy? Now there’s two.
You know how the dumb blonde in horror movies always goes up the stairs instead of out the front door? It’s true for any hair colour.
You know how you walk down some deserted street alone and you just KNOW that this is when you’re going to die? I waited until you were in a crowd of people to stab you from behind. They never noticed you until I was already gone.
That’s the beauty of Halloween: everyone is in disguise.
This year, the local police department set up a haunted house to raise money and create a “safe and fun space for kids to go”. It was the perfect hunting ground. If you went into the house after 10, only half of that blood was fake. If you went in after midnight, you never came out again. Of course, if you went in after 1, you’d have no idea what I was talking about. The only thing our police department is thorough in is cleanups. Their crime scenes are immaculate after an investigation is through.
That’s not meant as a slight against my husband; he’s very good at his job, and I’m sure if I gave the rest of his department a fair chance, they might be able to catch me.
I’m still riding that high from last night. So many people scarred for life (in more ways than one). I love a good slasher night. And Halloween is just…too perfect.
Of course, I’m exaggerating; I only killed three people. I’m not stupid enough to go on a full-on murder-spree in the middle of a police event – I’m good but I want to live. Still, I had fun and a lot of guests were entertained.
I made Jason stay home to hand out Halloween candy. He made some off-handed remark about having to cancel plans for me but I know he didn’t have any plans. No costume, no late-night phone calls (the walls are too thin), no new friends. He wasn’t going anywhere. At least I gave him an excuse – and I didn’t call him out. I can be a good mother.
At least I didn’t tell him what I was up to all night.
I know he still doesn’t approve but he doesn’t ask me to stop so I won’t push him either. It’s a mutual silent agreement. That’s good enough for me.
As always, dear readers,