I was honestly really getting into the spirit of Christmas
until I threw it all up on Friday morning. A 24 hour thing went around the
office and I normally don’t catch them but I did; and it sucked. James also did
not appreciate it but he was there for my nonetheless like the loving husband
he is.
It was just disgusting. I couldn’t eat or sleep or move,
really. How do humans deal with this on a ‘more than once a decade’ basis? I’m never getting sick again.
Oh and my mother called (I’m not saying it’s related or
anything). She's coming over for dinner on Christmas Eve. Remember how well
that turned out last year? Still I remain hopeful that it won’t end the same
way but who knows what’ll happen.
Did I tell you that she hasn’t contacted Jason since his
sister’s death? Nearly five months and not a word from her. What kind of
grandmother cares so little for her grandchilden? I can expect that for me but
she spent so much time trying to butt into the kids’ lives, I’m amazed at how
little time has been spent on Jason’s since losing his sister. When she showed
up in October for that one day, it is
was exhausting. I don’t know how we’re going to get through the holiday season.
In any case, she called on Friday to confirm the four of
them would be there for Christmas day. Four
of them? Oh yes. My sister’s coming. And her parole officer. I promise I
would have told you; if they’d told me. My sister’s been granted leave for
Christmas Day and she’s spending it with us. And my mother is driving.
When the fuck did that happen?
To my knowledge, those two have not spoken since her incarceration
and suddenly they’re close enough to be making plans without me? I’m calling
bullshit. But oh well. Christmas dinner just doubled in bodies – and not the
fun way. Who knows what’ll happen.
Probably a repeat of last year. With more bloodshed since I’m
not on that weird anti-murder kick. At least that part of my life’s behind me.
Man, I haven’t thought about that in weeks; Daniel and
Charlotte, and my stint in the psychiatric ward. That felt like a completely
different woman going through all those struggles. I’m glad I came out on the
other side of that. It shouldn’t have cost my daughter her life.
No more. My husband, my son; they won’t suffer because of
what I do.
See what my mother makes me do? I get sentimental and shit.
I need to go stab something.
As always, dear readers,
Stay Safe
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