Thank god for snow. It just isn't Christmas without snow. I know plenty of places don't have snow for the holidays but I've lived here my entire life and change is not something I'm interested in.
Besides, bodies are much easier to hide in snow piles than gravel. In celebration of mother nature, I thought I'd do a few festive kills to get into the spirit.
Three, in fact. And the following are anecdotes from my week:
Candy canes can be easily whittled down to a sharp point. This is not new information but it is always useful.
Have you ever string someone up with ornament hooks? It takes a lot of work. More than setting up the Christmas tree – which is enough to make you turn to murder.
Inspired by that one novelty song, I ran over someone's grandmother. I assume she was a grandmother. She looked grandmotherly.
Either way I had a lot of fun and really got into the spirit.
I think it's going to be a good Christmas.
I just got a call from my mother. I've thus far avoided the inevitable obligatory invitation. It's not that I don't love my mother. Well...I've discussed our relationship at length.
We haven't spoken in a few months, actually and it was a polite conversation. I also haven't heard from my sister in a while. Maybe I'll give her a call today. I'm inviting them all to Christmas dinner. I'll clean the house for my father without complaint and harbor all my mother's snarky comments and make it work.
Because that's really the true meaning of Christmas: making it work.
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and don’t die because I hate seeing my reader count dwindle without my permission.
And as always, dear readers,