I heard from my sister on Sunday. She’s under the impression that she may be up for parole in three months and then she’ll be released into the world. My world. She wants Jason to drive up and visit her before she’s free and I happily reminded her that my son is an adult who can do or see whoever he wants.
That was my mistake.
I called him “my son”. I consider Jason my child and I know he has mixed feelings about his family. But my sister? She’s firmly in the “he is my son and how dare you pretend you are his mother, I gave birth to him therefore you have no parental claim whatsoever” category. After all these years, I’ve been very careful about how I talk about Jason and Sandra and our family but it just slipped out. Now she’s angrier than ever but I really could not give a shit. She can do whatever she wants now. Jason is free and I have nothing she wants so there’s no need to bother me anymore.
I just don’t want my sister roaming the streets. If you thought I was bad, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen my sister on a boring Sunday afternoon. She was my mentor, my confident, my friend, but after all these years away she’s too inexperienced to jump right back in. That’s exactly what she’ll try to do and it will get her killed. Or worse, I’ll get caught.
No matter what I feel about my sister and our current situation, she’s an extension of my life – my dark past – and I hold her criminal history in high regard. She just needs to understand that times have changed. I’ve changed. I won’t let her into my world without a fight. I hope she takes my advice.
That’s the only recent development and my concern for my sister isn’t exactly new. I’m getting bored. I forgot to kill someone with a needle last week and I only remembered as I type this. I’m restless and creative but also too lazy to do anything about it. I haven’t had a summer off in years. It’ll be great no matter what I do. There are no deadlines, no one relying on me.
I just don’t care.
As always, dear readers,