Graduation season is possible my favourite time of year – other than Halloween. It’s a little less work with a built in cause of death and all those extra bodies running around, celebrating the next chapter in their lives. Alcohol poisoning is on the rise in the city and it’s only partially my fault. Drunk driving is also a lot of fun. Not for other people; for me.
My new favourite is calling the non-emergency line to report a driver swerving on the road then run them into a ditch. I always try and make sure they’re actually driving drunk – or at least recklessly – before I kill them. Really I’m doing the city a favour. We have to keep dangerous people off the road. I wouldn’t have to kill them if they weren’t there.
However, I can only do it a few times because trends are dangerous but it’s entertaining to play an innocent bystander. Maybe that’s the new trend: roleplaying.
I really can’t tell what my mood will be when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes I like it sneaky and subtle; the times you don’t find the body for weeks after the fact. Sometimes I’m in the mood for messy and quick, sometimes torturously slow. It’s really a game of chance how you’ll die at my hand. Unless you’ve done something to specifically piss me off – then I promise it will be hilariously ironic and I will blog about it.
This week’s mood seems to be…playful. My own version of pranking. It’s fun and relaxing which I haven’t done in a while. No more stalkers, angry husbands, curious children, bitchy co-workers. I can actually take time to enjoy my craft. And you know what? I will.
I will actually take time for myself the way I did before the husband and the kids and the stress of maintaining multiple lives. Two is enough for me, thank you.
I vow here and now to take more time to do the things I love; to indulge in my more creative urges. Did you know that in all my years, I’ve never killed anyone with a sewing needle? I think it would take a miracle to get me to relax after the year I’ve had but I’m up for the challenge.
Actually time for myself without worries. I wonder what that would be like…
As always, dear readers,