Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Your Mid-Week Update for 04/20/16

I killed Kyle's second cousin. The trick is to get someone familial but not someone so close to them it would destroy their spirit permanently. Distant cousins are always a good bet. Your victim gets leave for the day of the funeral but that's it, so they have to come back to the office and deal with wave after wave of emails and visits featuring empty condolences. It's an exhausting process that tends to calm the unruliest of subjects.

So far the death of his cousin has sobered the intern. As sober as a man can be who has lost a family member in such a gruesome manner. I may have gone overboard. You see, I got my hands on some farming equipment this weekend. Do you know what a haulm topper is? Look it up. It’s sharp. And swirly. It cuts through flesh and muscle so easily. I noticed it got a little tied up on the ribcage but I thought that was better. It kept the news from posting too many images – they may love scaring their viewers but they can’t show graphic content like exposed bones that look gnawed on. They’re calling it a freak farming accident and they’re blaming a faulty machine. It makes my job easier. The cleanup was a bitch though. Blood was everywhere.

I thought about Sandra the other day.

Jesus Christ, that was a horrible segue. I just meant that…I thought about her. I don’t forget about her – my daughter – but every once in a while, something will make me think of her and I’ll stop breathing. It hurts my heart to think of Sandra. She didn’t deserve to die like that.

To be fair, most people I kill don’t deserve to die like that. But she…she was so beautiful.

Anyways, I just thought I would tell you.

There’ll be no new update next week, I leave for Miami on Friday and I don’t anticipate being anywhere near a computer all week. It’s going to be glorious.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

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