Remember last week how I said James needed his own update? Apparently today is that day. If there’s time before I head to work I’ll do a brief tutorial on my experience with manual strangulation – which is a dangerous and therapeutic method.
But for now, we’re going to talk about my husband.
It’s been 6 weeks, 3 days, and 16 hours since James moved his things out of the house. He’s been by a few times and we’ve talked and fucked but I have no idea how to fix things between us. Yes, he’s called me on my bullshit and we’ve gone through all of our problems with a fine tooth comb but he won’t tell me how to resolve our problems. I’ve apologized, I’ve tried to continue my daily life without my husband at home but I can’t sleep at night.
That’s been a real struggle. I didn’t realize how much I relied on my husband to fall asleep at night until he wasn’t there. When he sleeps on his back, he does this little snort every 30 seconds. It’s only cute because I miss it – it used to drive me nuts. And if you pull the covers up too high he’ll claw at the blanket. That one’s actually adorable. He’s like a puppy.
We thought about getting a dog, once. When the kids first joined us, we thought giving them some sort of companionship would help the transition. We ultimately decided against it because of costs but I sometimes wonder what having a pet would be like. In a house as crazy and dramatic as ours, maybe having an animal to care for would have mellowed us out. Oh well.
I don’t…know what to do. I keep saying that but-
Ugh… marriage is frustrating. And communication is very important.
He’s the first person I’ve ever trusted completely and…
I can’t lose him.
I’m going to confront him. I’m going to his work and I won’t leave until we work things out. I’m not going to give up.
Wish me luck, dear readers, I’m getting my husband back.
As always, dear readers,
P.S. Shoot, I forgot to do the tutorial on asphyxiation. Here's a blog post I found that'll get you started. Feel free to comment with questions and I'll address them at a later date: http://madamewriterofwrongs.blogspot.com/2013/06/forensic-fridays-part-4-asphyxiation.html