I have an update on the Sandra front. I spoke to James and he convinced me that it would be best to wait it out. Obviously he's right but I'm still anxious. Jason is still acting normally which is a blessing. Maybe Sandra has chosen to spare her little brother the anxiety of more family drama. One can only hope that she's seen sense on that front.
I'm almost certain that she knows my secret now. She continuously glares at me and I can see her finger twitching over the emergency call button on her phone. She knows. And she wants to tell but something is stopping her. I dare to think it's affection for me but in all likelihood it's self-preservation. If I'm gone, she and her brother are headed for foster care and she likes her cushy bedroom way too much.
Don't get me wrong, I love my niece and nephew dearly, but I'm being honest. I'm not in this situation out of love, I'm here because my teenage god daughter likes comfort more than she likes doing the right thing.
I'm so proud.
I'm glad that I've at least had an influence on those kids, I've practically raised them. Even before their mother went on "an extended trip" - as we initially told the kids - I was more of a mother to those two. Not to brag but I feel I did a very good job of raising two teenagers while working the equivalent of two full time jobs.
I’m not going for mother of the year but I’m pretty damn close and now, now the little brats are going to turn against me. Not anytime soon but it will happen.
As soon as they don’t need me anymore.
I knew that having children would force me to face my mortality but I never expected it to happen so soon. For the first time in a long time I don’t know what’s going to happen next.
Adding spontaneity to murder is one thing but to fear of your children (not just fear for them); it’s a whole new game.
I need a massage. And a spa trip for at least a month.
As always, dear readers,