Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 05/17/17

I apologize for not updating last week. I could have updated you on Thursday but why bother? Then it wouldn’t be a “mid-week” update.

Side note: it’s too late to change it now but I wish this blog had a better title. This is so generic.

Moving on.

Last Tuesday night I had to drive down to the police station to pick up my son. Jason was fine but I was asked to drive him home due to trauma. He witnessed a train accident downtown and helped to provide information and context for the paramedics and police investigation. When I came to get him, the officer accompanying him confided that he was quiet and withdrawn and they worried about the effect the accident had on him. I almost laughed but I realize that Jason is dealing with death a little differently than I am.

So when we got home, I opted to talk to him about what was going on. He was quiet on the ride home but as we sat in the driveway, he confessed that the sight of blood now makes him shaky. He wanted to help and did as much as he could but he can’t stop shaking.

Instead of sending him off to bed, I drive to the nearest Denny’s – because at this point it was nearly midnight – where we sat and ate until he felt a little more stable. We didn’t talk except about everyday life; work, friends, school. A little after 4am we finally drove home and we both went straight to bed.

Unfortunately, I didn’t hear my alarm go off the next morning and I was scrambling to make it to work on time. I was late, by the way. The update completely slipped my mind until I was driving home at the end of the day and by then, I didn’t think it was necessary.

I’m sorry I didn’t update last week, I was taking care of my son. Sometimes other things take priority.

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Your Mid-Week Update 05/03/17

As I mentioned last week (or maybe I didn’t, I don’t keep track) after Betty’s death, they opened an investigation and a kindly police officer came in to talk to Betty’s coworkers. We were all given Friday afternoon off because of the investigation and potential trauma. Thankfully the weather was actually warm so I took Jason out for drive-in milkshakes and then to that new Power Rangers movie – because my son is not a cliché, and therefore not embarrassed to spend time with his mother.

On Tuesday, the news reported that Betty’s ex-boyfriend was arrested on suspicion of her murder. Apparently they found the murder weapon in his apartment and he had a “violent history with the victim”. It’s not often I actually get to see who would have killed my victim if I hadn’t stepped in. I’m sorry Betty you definitely would have been killed this year. Your ex-boyfriend is crazy.

Still…I have to wonder how they found the murder weapon in his apartment.

I’m sure it was just a similar weapon and they jumped to conclusions. Because the police are a cliché.

I’m so glad James doesn’t read this blog, he’d be upset that I said that.

I’m still not wrong.

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

Your Mid-Week Update 04/26/17

Many of you commented on my last update asking me to let Betty live and I suppose you’re right. Gaining viewers is a lot harder than gaining victims.

But I already stabbed her in the ear with a letter opener and left her body to rot in a watershed so…oops? I’m not really sorry you guys. I probably should be but it’s done and Betty was probably going to die anyways.

I think the worst part was battling the elements. The weather has been so crazy all this month. It snowed, then it was humid and hot, then it was raining, and now it’s snowing again except it’s warm enough that it melts before it touches the ground. The entire city is just slush. Luke warm slush. Everything is slippery and damp and I hate it.

The mess has made everything inconvenient. Just inconvenient. Do you realize how annoying that is? That’s like Blockbuster only carrying the second best movie.

Ooh I dated myself didn’t I? Meh. You knew that coming in to this update so why am I justifying myself?

I’m rambling, it’s time to go.

Yeah.

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 04/19/17

I’m feeling so conflicted. James thinks I should go through with it but I want your opinion.

I’ve chosen my work victim. Her name is Betty and she works in the sales department. She’s quiet and isolated within her department. From what I’ve overheard, none of the women feel comfortable around her and she gives off a very “odd” vibe. By all accounts she’ll be a very easy kill.

But here’s the thing.

I snuck on to her computer on Friday afternoon and looked at her search history.

She reads the blog.

And she’s even commented on a few.

First of all: PSYCHO! Even I know that it’s slightly psychotic to enjoy the world that I live in. I am not the norm. I don’t hide or supress my dark urges. People who read and enjoy my blog are obviously concealing some serious issues.

Not that I don’t love my readers.

But even you can admit that you’re not here because you’re “normal”.

Which brings me to my second point which is: I NEED THE VIEWERS!

You guys don’t see my viewer stats every week. You are small but loyal readers but emphasis on small.

I don’t want to lose any readers especially if I intentionally kill them off. I’ve often thought about whether or not I’ve accidently murdered a reader. If I have I’m so sorry – although you’re not around to read this so…whatever.

My intention is to murder and to have readers and not kill readers.

But Betty is the perfect kill at work.

James says I should go through with it but what do you guys think?

Would you, as my readers, be okay losing a fellow viewer?

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 04/12/17

People in cars are idiots. They’re also easy kills. I’ve always known this but sometimes you get to indulge in the simple pleasures in life. Essentially, some asshole cut me off so I followed him into a parking lot and cut his breaks. I wonder if that counts towards road rage statistics or homicide statistics. Both? It’s something I’ve never thought about.

You know what I have thought about? Killing Lydia. Why is it so damn hard for you to follow direction? You have had two weeks to finish those reports and they’re still not done. It takes you four hours to do what it takes everyone else one hour to do. At least Heather’s was always good at her job before we became friends. I want her gone. She’s beyond my patience.

Ugh. She’s too close to kill, I can’t do it. I’ve learned my lesson. But I’d like to kill someone at work. I realize that I haven’t killed anyone in the office since Daniel – for obvious reasons. I know the risks and it’ll require a little more pre-work but I’m making it my challenge for the month.

It’s officially Kill Your Co-Worker Month. Who’s in?

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday, 5 April 2017

Your Mid-Week Update 04/05/17

I love feeling that I accomplished nothing only to find that I’ve had a fairly productive week. It’s a little confidence boost that is always appreciated.

I got my taxes done, I had dinner with my husband every night – either at home or at his work – I spent time with Jason, I checked in on Heather and got her settled back into her house, I perfected my screw driver work on a pair of college boys; hint: you’d think it was all in the wrist action but it’s better to lead with the shoulder. There’s more power behind it and you end up exuded less effort. Exuding? Is that the right word? I hate second guessing myself. I know my grammar and spelling isn’t the best on this blog but the idea wasn’t to filter y thoughts. I’m just here to tell you my story. Sometimes I’m too tired to think straight and sometimes I just have nothing to talk about (or I’m not ready to talk about). Like this week. Nothing exciting or noteworthy has happened. That’s not a bad thing and I’m certainly not going to jinx it by saying that I’m happy or settled…

Although I guess I just did.

Fuck.

In any case, I have nothing to talk about and that’s not a bad thing. People are dying, my family is content, work is productive. That’s all. That’s really all.

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 03/29/17

My talk with Heather about getting off of my god damn couch was much more successful than I ever could have imagined. I approached her last Wednesday afternoon and very calmly asked if she’d be willing to stop by her house to pick up her mail this weekend. She was quiet for a moment and then she nodded slowly and agreed to drive over on Saturday.

And that was that. I took her to her house, doorstep piling up with mail, and even convinced her to go inside. I’ll admit, I did a fantastic job of cleaning up but now the living room seemed empty. We didn’t stay long but we were only gone long enough to grab her things and move them back into her own bedroom.

Heather is officially back at home and doing well, from what I hear. I kind of wish I’d gently kicked her out sooner. But it’s done now so things can go back to normal. I’m even back on my regular kill schedule which is just orgasmically wonderful. That is a word that should be a part of the English language for how powerful the imagery is – at least I think so. I’m just so satisfied with being able to go back to committing murder without worrying about anyone else. It’s making things more fun.

For example, I had no idea there were so many nerve endings on the back and thigh area. It was fascinating to see a young man just crumple with a simple jab from my nail gun – which does not shoot like a gun, thank you, film industry. It still packs a powerful punch and telling your husband that you stapled a man to death is just delightful. His face just lit up. He is so adorable when he wants to be. God I love him.

Give me a break, my anniversary is coming up and I might actually get to spend it with my husband. Wouldn’t that be nice?

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe